Day 195, Tuesday, 7.5.22: Why am I still so emotional?

I am so excited to report that things are going really good!

Today I had a 6-month follow-up at UIHC with the one + only, Dr. Lizarraga, who removed my cancer. I LOVED seeing her, again. As I was walking to the appointment, I felt so fortunate to be able to be in the clinic there in Iowa City.

Really, I mean how fricking lucky am I to be walking in those halls at the UIHC, having had a great recovery, and amazing experience with humans (aka doctors) who dedicate their lives to helping people like me?

I was a little emotional.

So the outcome of today's appointment:

Bad news: This is my last follow-up appointment with her.

Good news: There's a possibility the numbness I still feel on the left side where the lymph nodes were removed could disappear.

I'm down 10 lbs from my last post-op appointment there! (Hell, yes!!)

AND

I've "graduated" to a "survivorship" Dr. every 6 months for the next 3 appointments, then move to yearly appointments for follow-ups!

In other news, I've been taking 20 mg. Tamoxifen since March 20th. This is the only cancer preventative med. I'm inhaling each a.m. and plan to take for a total of 5 years. It suppresses the body from making estrogen which feeds cancer in me. So, if it stops my body from making estrogen, I'll have a greater chance of not getting cancer, again.

Sounds like a win to me!

Back Story: When I started Tamoxifen on Feb. 1st, I experienced some strange feelings Feb. 15th + went to the ER. St. Luke's did a phenomenal job checking me out that day... got a CT brain + chest scan, MRI brain scan and lots of blood draws. All turned out just fine, aside from one thing (high blood clot possibility). So I was released with the suggestion to stop the Tamoxifen for a bit. (A side effect is blood clots.)

Current Day: Tamoxifen can have a shit load of side effects. I'm beyond stoked that none of those have happened to me (yet?), including hot flashes.

The end of July is when I get to meet with my Oncologist, again. I'm excited to find out if the hot flashes are still on the horizon or what she thinks

Took a video and pic from today's appointment...

Day 52 Saturday: Tamoxifen

Reporting in that I officially started Tamoxifen this week! I'm on Day 3 with no side effects (yet). I guess it can take a couple of months for some possible side effects, however, menopause will hit sooner rather than later. Oh, goodie!

This week has been the best week, yet, since surgery! I'm feeling myself and acknowledged I will never be 100% back to what I was... I lost my boobs, so that's impossible.

However, I truly feel I'm at 99-100% the new me. My energy level is on track! I completed sooo many tasks in my business this week, too! I really missed strategizing, creating, making decision and moving the needle forward! I feels good to give a sh*t, again!

On another note, and I hope this comes across correctly...

Guilt. In the back of my mind and in my heart I feel guilty....Like this diagnosis was too easy compared to so so many others, who battle different steps for months, even years. Why did it only take me a little bit, while they are experiencing much tougher times? THEY are the heros. THEY are the ones I will give a standing ovation to anytime. THEY don't deserve what has been handed to them.

This "guilt" kind of reminds me how people feel when there's a downsize at a company. Your teammates are let go, while I still have a job. When you don't lose your job, some experience "survivor's guilt".

Gosh, I really hope this is making sense!

I know I'm lucky. I escaped chemo, radiation, physical therapy, boob expanders, other surgeries, etc. I only had to "put up" with certain stages for a little bit compared to so many others. And I'm just feeling a little guilty is all. I am still very very thankful!

Next appointments:

Monday I begin another set of appointments with a nurse + team on survivorship where provide eating, exercises, group, counseling, etc.

At the end of Feb. I have a 2 month follow-up w/ Plastics/Reconstruction Dr.

Best Updates:

• Officially can sleep on my side!!!!

• Raise both arms over my head for almost a minute w/out it hurting! This means my messy bun is back on my head!!!

• Booked a girl's getaway w/ my person, Shanan, to FL! A little Vitamin D, salty hair + sand on my feet sound devine!!
  

Thank you for all the support, prayers, help, messages, calls, food, flowers, gifts, love + thoughts you have given us over these months. I feel so lucky you're apart of our lives!

Xoxo,
~ Trish

Day 33 Monday: 1-month Post-Op Visit

Morning: The visit to Reconstructive/Plastics today went great!

• Surgical glue has fallen all off, so I get to begin healing ointment treatment twice a day now.

• Still some swelling on left/cancer side.

• Got 1-month post-op pics taken.

Doc answered questions we had about the process + recovery if we choose to do replacement, fat grafting, and/or tattooing.

We have appreciated all the knowledge given during this diagnosis, and knowing they will perform as many surgeries a cancer patient is willing to have in order to look typical, therefore feel happy + satisfied, is beyond awe-inspiring!

Now, for me, while these two puppies/boobs are not identical, at this time I am truly overjoyed with:

• having almost all my energy back

• feeling human, again

• feeling more like a woman than I anticipated

• how the boobs actually did turn out (there are some scary outcome pics on the web.)

And honestly...what's another scar? It's something I'm proud + honored to show, much like the stretch marks from my 3 babies.

👨🏻‍🧑🏻‍👩🏻

Evening: Something really weird + scary happened. I bent down to take my slippers off and shooting pain on the right side (non-cancer) nearly brought me to my knees. I stopped breathing and wondered what in the hell it could be + why?

Thinking back to the day's events, was anything outside of the "norm"? No.

Did the Dr. or his associate overly handle me? God, no.

The pain limited me from doing anything without feeling it. So when I felt the pain, I dug my fingers in as hard as I could to what? Examine it? Fight back? I don't know other than I was scared.

So I laid down (at 7:30ish) in bed and stayed there praying until morning when it wasn't there anymore.

If I were to guess, a nerve probably got touched somehow by the implant while I bent over? 🤷‍♀️ And you know what? I don't need to know, as long as it never happens, again. 😉

For me, to mention it here is a way to remember a quirky moment.

Since then, all is well!

Day 28 Wednesday: Eek!!

It's official...today is 4 weeks post-op AND the original double mastectomy surgery date (God bless the cancelation, therefore, opening for me, on 12/22)!!

Therefore, spoiling myself was in order with Starbucks this morning, wearing my favorite comfy clothes, catching up on phone calls to Trae, Daddy + Mommy, and setting zero expectations. It worked out beautifully!

The surgical glue is starting to fall off, another great sign! What looks atrocious has been healing quite nicely underneath! (pic below)

Tonight, the kids don't have activities, so we will be sure to get in hands of Uno and other card games.

Feeling:

Today there is more of an uncomfortable feeling on my left side where Happy's drain was located. It reminds me of a bruised feeling. I'll monitor + contact the Dr. if it gets worse.

Current Restrictions in Place:

• Continue sleeping on my back until 6-weeks post-op (only 2 weeks to go - yay!!!)

• Continue wearing a compression bra 24/7 until 12-weeks post-op.

Next Appointment:

Monday, 1/24: Reconstructive/Plastics Surgeon 1 month follow-up.

Day 27 Tuesday: Patterns

Folks, I'm seeing a pattern :-)

• Saturday, lots of energy + stayed busy.

• Sunday, exhausted!!!!

• Monday/yesterday the kids had off from school + we kept busy.

• Today/Tuesday, I'm exhausted!!

So, I'm excited for tomorrow, because if the said pattern is accurate, there'll be lots of energy! :-)

Feeling:

"Uncomfortableness" has drastically improved!

The range of motion for my right arm is much better (and expected) than the left (where lymph nodes were removed). To help with friction, it feels SUPER comfy to have a little pillow between my side and arm. Also, I've been doing arm exercises that are super helpful/comforting (pic below).

It feels fantastic to be getting my strength back. When Bell's Hoverboard arrived ~2 weeks post-op, I couldn't even lift it out of the box. Today, it's as light as a feather.

Cheers to another day!

~Trish

Day 22 Thursday: I should be doing something!

Sitting here thinking of which Dr. I need to hear back from and what appointments are coming up soon.

It's a weird feeling because there isn't anything!! I'm not waiting on any callbacks or information and all my follow-ups are booked weeks and months away! Yay!

You would think this would be a sigh of relief and it is... please don't get me wrong. It's like flicking a switch after a long electrical outage and going back "on" now for the rest of life's activities. It's a weird feeling... I don't feel "ready"? I'm not sure that's the right word. Because, Lord I am READY, but I'm not.

I feel there is a definite divide/difference between BC (before cancer) and AC (after cancer). I'd probably include a DC (during cancer) to this list, too.

And there's no going back to the other times. It's an end to a chapter or even a book. It's kind of like before children (BC) and after children (AC)... there's a difference in how you are with life, what you're doing, what your thinking, what you're focused on, etc. Right?

So there are SOOOO many things I can be doing right now... and I just don't want to. Why? I have no idea!

Hmmmm, I'm thinking today maybe another R+R afternoon.

Day 21 Wednesday: 3 weeks post-op!

Today I woke up having a lot more natural feeling (less tingly/numbness) in my left arm where the lymph nodes were taken. It feels so much better, and I'm super thankful!

My arms are now allowed to be straight out front and to the sides at shoulder level. Yippee!!

The plastic Dr. said that whatever exercise I did previously can be started up again in another week at half the amount. So IF I ran 3 miles, I can start, again, at 1.5 miles. That's "if". - lol

Including a picture from today trying on a swimming top(dreaming of Spring Break here ;-), I captured a pic of the lymph node scar. (PS ignore the hairy armpit... just another fun aftermath during recovery )

Day 20 Tuesday: Pathology Results!!

Yay, today I met with my Oncologist, Dr. Ann Stroh, who is located here in CR at Mercy. She is super down-to-earth, brilliant, informative, warm/touchy-feely, fun, and open! (Thank you, Sun, for recommending her!! I LOVE her, too!)

What is an Oncologist? BC (before cancer) I didn't realize there would be so many doctors you get to work with during this whole ordeal. So if you're unsure like I was, an Oncologist is who determines treatments for your cancer and basically someone you'll be with for years to come!

Appointment Outcome: Pathology came back with clear lymph nodes! It's truly official...no more cancer!!

Because of pathology results + the size of the tumor they removed (1.8mm), I do not need radiation or chemotherapy!

I have the option to be on Tamoxifen, a medication which would help "lengthen my life", as Dr. Stroh put it. Tamoxifen will put me into menopause , has been around for 50ish years + also known for some other not-so-fun side effects, however, I wanted to try it and leave no stone left unturned

Soooo, the other bad news with Tamoxifen is I will need to go on another form of an anti-depressant + anxiety medicine. Unfortunately, the medication, Fluoxetine, I've been on since 2017 would be counterproductive if taken with Tamoxifen. So, over the next 30 days, we are figuring out what other pill I can take to keep me in mental tip-top shape + cancer-free!

YES, you read that correctly. I take a daily pill to help my mental well-being, and while I could probably start a whole other FB Page on mental health, I'll leave this open to if you want to chat about it, let me know!! As you see, I'm totally transparent + agree there is unfortunately still some stigma out there when someone needs medicine to mentally make it through the day. (Just because there's not a "number", like high blood pressure or some type of visual "proof", doesn't mean anyone should be discounted for the need to regulate their brain. Ok, I'm preaching to the choir here , and again, that's a topic for another page.

Hugs, Trish

Day 17 Saturday + Day 18 Sunday: Super low key + relaxing weekend!

I'm finding doing tasks in 5 - 10 min. increments are just enough to zap my energy. :-) So on Day 18, Sunday, I chose to host EmpowHER Hour (which is my free monthly women's workshop hour via Zoom). Earlier in the day I literally told Chad I was afraid for the session because it's AN HOUR long!

Well, two things happened...

1. About an hour before EmpowHER Hour begins, Kade found a drip in the guest bedroom/workout room(pics attached). Thanks to fab. neighbor, Cory Hoffmann, the guys were able to find the leak (of the filtered water faucet in the kitchen sink opposite the wall/ceiling). It REALLY sucked not being about to help them at all (remember no lifting over 10 lbs or arms above head). So I was the picture taker. Check them out below and tell me the first pic., when it was first spotted, doesn’t look like a boob. ;-)

2. EmpowHER Hour totally happened without a hitch, I had loads of energy to extend it an additional hour for a few who wanted to stay on! (yay!)

In total, I'd say these were big wins! :-)

Day 19 Monday: Too Many Bumps on the Road

2nd post-op with Reconstruction/Plastics Dr. It felt really freeing to drive me down to UIHC, about a ~45 min. drive, for this appt. Once inside the exam room, since it was going on 20 min of waiting, I took a video to show you the room AND something new inside!!!

Dr. is really happy with the results + how healing is progressing.

• Follow-up in less than 2 weeks, which is when I'll be released to regular activity, except I'll still get to:

• Sleep only on my back until week 6.

• Wear a supportive sport's bra 24/7 until 3 months.

• Take it easy.

Before heading home, I called Oncologist to verify my 11:15 appt, since pathology results were still MIA. Told everything is still a "go" unless they call me.

Perfect! There was time to go home + let the puppies out and turn around to head back downtown to Mercy here in Cedar Rapids (~20ish min. drive).

1st Post-Op Oncology Appointment: I waited in their beautiful lobby for 15 min when a nice nurse + scribe asked to chat in a meeting room. They are unable to get pathology results until my breast surgeon signs off (and she's out for the day). They apologized profusely, acknowledged I had called, and said they'd be in touch ASAP.

Now, I could be mad, right?

"5ish-year-ago Trish" would have been less than ok with this, however, today, I was ok. Truly! My first thought was, "Of course, my beloved, controlling, detailed breast surgeon isn't going to just give these pathology results away to anyone until she reviews it." That's my girl!

Afternoon/Evening:

Before picking the kiddos up from school, I had enough energy to swing by the best shopping place ever, Target, to search for another supportive bra, but didn't find one.

Ended the day with my first supper out on the town with "my person" Shanan. (And, yes, I was totally wearing yoga pants and sneakers!!) Even tho I was a little exhausted and pretty sore from driving during the day, it was So. Bloody. Refreshing seeing + being with Shanan!!

Day 16 Friday: Today was emotional

Today was the most emotional (sad, happy, thankful, what-if tears) kinda day I've had since surgery.

The breast cancer surgeon appointment today went well! She said healing is progressing well! And before I get to the next part of today's visit, we need to go back in time.

Back-up to surgery day 0 (12/22): Chad and I say our goodbyes and I walk to another room where they will be administering the nerve blocker in my shoulders. I end up being in this room for over 2 hours. The surgeons individually come in and chat with me one final time before surgery, I meet the anesthesiologist team (there were 3 of them).

While I don't remember the nerve blocker being injected via an ultrasound, there are bruises that show it happened. I DO recall being super emotional during this 2 hour alone wait time. So much that the lead anesthesiologist said he had "something" for me in his shirt pocket if I'd like. (aka sleepy medicine, well, at least that's what I thought..lol)

Immediately I said "Yes, please. Now."

Which explains why I don’t remember being wheeled into the surgery room. However, I do recall giving somebody a death grip handhold in the surgery room at the beginning. In my mind it was hers, my breast cancer surgeon's, hand and I wanted to verify for accuracy.

So today I got my answer... She smiled and said, "Yes. Some patients don’t remember that."

That's when I lost it. I wanted her to know how much it meant to me and thank her. So while sitting in the exam room with a boob cape draped over my shoulders, I did some sorta sign language hopefully indicating as much between the hiccups and crying.

I was a mess, you guys. A thankful and appreciative mess.

• She is who scared me with her direct demeanor at almost every appointment.

• She is who I went against her medical recommendation for surgery.

• She is who respected my decision.

• She is who was the last one to comfort me.

• She is who saved my life.

How do you properly and fully thank someone who saved your life?

Next appointment with her is in 6 months. Gosh, I’m so happy today wasn’t the end of my journey with her!

Day 14 Wednesday + Day 15 Thursday

Hi, Loves!

Day 14 Wednesday: I cannot believe it is 2 weeks post-op! I’m doing good + even took a mid-afternoon siesta for 90 min!

Today’s January winter weather got the kids a no school day! We were already in the groove of lounging and playing Uno, so the day went fast!!

Day 15 Thursday: I officially went back to work + it feels oh so good!! I shit you not! There’s something about being in love with what you do that it’s not even “work”.

I am taking it slow, I promise! Owning my own business has it’s perks, especially in a moment like this!

As far as how I’m feeling goes, my range of arm movement/motion is getting better/more each day. There’s a little less numbing, too. Mentally, I’m so much better than last week!

I do quickly crash at night. Chad continues to be a God send with supper and dishes (typically I would help with one or the other). I take Tylenol or Advil right before bed, and I’m good ‘til morning.

Funny thing…I haven’t unpacked my overnight bag from the hospital yet. While I’m optimistic, I like knowing worse case scenario. Right now, according to my Reconstructive/Plastics Dr. there’s still a chance (5-10%) of getting an infection from the implant, which happens around weeks 2-3.

So, worse case: it needs to be removed. The area then cleaned and healed before trying, again.

So in my superstitious brain, I think that if I keep the overnight bag “packed” I’ll have less of a chance needing it, because it’s already packed, and with the hope of not needing it at all, of course. Does that make sense?

Weird? I know. It’s me + how I roll. Chad is so lucky. ;-)

I hope you are are doing well, are safe, healthy and warm! I LOVE reading all your messages! You are helping me through this so much more than you know!! Thank you! Thank You! Thank YOU!!

Hugs, Trish

PS. Somethings I miss right now during this recovery…

• Stretching as in arms way up in the air.

• Sleeping or laying on my side.

• Being in the same bed as Chad (tho I am afraid I don’t know where he’s going to sleep when I can sleep flat, again…I’ve quickly gotten used to taking up this whole queen size bed!)

• Sleeping with my arms above my head. (There seems to be a theme around sleeping + arms.)

• Running around… ok, more like walking fast.

• Bear hugs with the kids.

Sigh… stupid cancer!!

Day 13 Tuesday: I miss doing my hair

I miss doing my hair into a messy bun, so I got smart with my baby t-Rex arm limitation.

If you put your head upside down and between your knees, you can form a messy bun and not extend your arms above your shoulder! And just like anything, you may need to practice a bit.

I gave it two tries and called it “Good Enuf”!

On another note, kids went back to school today! I missed them and I didn’t.

This morning I was feeling a little guilty that their entire holiday break I was a laid-up Mama and they really didn’t get to get out of the house much. Bell LOVES being home, while Kade did say “we didn’t go anywhere”.

He’s right and it’s another reason why we are counting down to Spring Break!

Cheers to another good day!

~ Trish

Day 12 Monday: I said "fuck"

I said "fuck" and a whole bunch of other words I don't remember when Dr. Mike, one of the plastic surgeons, removed Grumpy, the left drain.

I felt terrible and a little embarrassed, however, he was nice to tell me it wouldn't be a day at the clinic without hearing that word (or something like that).

DAY 12, Monday: Yippee! Doctors removed the drains that I had named "Happy" + "Grumpy"! Happy, on my left side where I'm still numb, was a piece of cake to remove since I couldn't really feel when he was "ripped out" (LOL my phrasing totally. Dr. Mike said that's not the terminology they use in the medical field, however, it is accurate

Dr. Mike also peeled off the “Scran Wrap” that went from one side to the other side of my body! Oh. My. Goud! That felt soooo good!! Now, I admit to having been removing some of the Scran Wrap a little at a time as it got itchy at the top....like a couple of inches total maybe over the past several (ok, 5) days? Chad busted me on that and I told Dr. Mike that essentially I was "helping" him remove it. Hee hee... Dr. Mike didn't agree.

So, envision this... you're sitting in a chair in the center of the room. Your hubby/signif. other is sitting in the corner, and 3 male Drs. are standing in front of you noting how you look as the wrap is being removed. There's no mirror. Your first opportunity to see your new ta-ta's is by looking down past your face mask.

How stupid is that? Shouldn't I have a moment alone with them first? It reminds me of this scenario...pushing a baby out of your twat and the first people holding and therefore getting to see your baby are the nurse, Dr., and the baby's daddy ALL before you! Jeez! Can anyone relate? No?

Anyway, I thought I was prepared for seeing the incisions but I wasn't. While the Scran Wrap is see-thru, there are white bandage strips across the incisions for both boobs + lymph node removal site. The little bruising and swelling are normal, but hello Frankenstein!

Backup: During surgery, doctors were able to put implants in right away. Amazing, isn't it? So no radiation is needed at this time. I decided to go smaller in size, therefore, they removed everything but my skin basically.

Back to the appointment: A kind nurse fitted (aka pushed) me into a zip-up bra. It feels like size XS when it's really an XL.

So, I get to wear this “sexy brassiere” 24/7 for 4-6 weeks (except while showering). I know I'm going to hate it soon, however... It does feel SOOO great to be free of those drains!!!

Next appts:

Friday with Cancer Surgeon (I can’t wait to see her, again!)

Next Monday Plastics, again, + Oncology. Oncology will provide us pathology results with greater details into what was discovered from surgery removal.

That's it! I'm not in any pain...more like uncomfortable. I'm not as grumpy (Chad + kids will need to verify that). And I have a very large appetite. LOL All and all, I cannot complain!

xoxo

Day 10 Saturday + Day 11 Sunday:

Here’s what this weekend’s days looked like:

• Countdown to Monday’s doc appt.

• Go stir-fucking-crazy

• Eat

• Go to the bathroom

• Countdown to Monday’s doc appt.

• Play cards

• Read

• Eat

• Play cards

• Watch TV

• Rest

(Repeat)

Day 9 Friday (New Year's Eve)

Here’s what today’s day was….

Rest, find something to eat, rest, go to the bathroom, pretend it’s not News Year’s Eve, therefore not doing anything, stay off social media, go to bed at 9.

Day 8 Thursday: 1 week ago I came home from the hospital!

So crazy to think it was 1 week ago I came home from the hospital. This week has gone fast and this week has lasted forever.

This morning Chadly washed my hair and OMG… it’s got to be close to feeling like heaven!!

He also changed my sheets, did a load of laundry, took the kids to the dentist, and Kade for a haircut (goodbye mullet).

Chad even had time to do the dishes and make lunch for Troy, Shannon, Kelty, and Kenly. Love getting together with the Raaps!

It kills me to not be able to help!!!

I re-read through the discharge papers and it says 4-6 weeks before I’m back to normal (lifting, energy, etc.). Dear Jesus!! Well, I guess I’m 1/4 of the way there, right?!?

I’m feeling pretty good today thanks to my sponsors: Tylenol and Motrin

The incision from the lymph nodes removal is annoying yesterday and today!! It’s still numb yet I feel pressure. It helps to have a pillow between my elbow and hip. Thank God it’s on my left said with me being right-hand dominant AND I’m super thankful for this winter cold weather instead of it being summer. It’s easier for me to warm up vs cool off!

So much to be thankful for!!

Attaching a pic of some beautiful flowers from my Transamerica HR Family. While I worked there for 11ish years, I’ve been away for over 3 years, and oh my heart when I saw this gorgeous arrangement was from them. This is a great example of how people will come in and out of your life and that’s a-ok. But some never leave especially when you really need them most

And there’s a pic of me right now nestled in the corner of the couch with a boob protector from Susan Nakata

Virtual hugs and smooches to you all!

Trish

Day 7 Wednesday

When I was a little girl, I got mad my mother gave me a training bra. I didn't want boobs. And to be honest, I was well past a training bra!

To me, boobs were annoying. I got teased about them. HOWEVER, later in life, I was VERY grateful they fed + nourished our youngest two babies (Trae, got spared that... my 17-year-old brain had memories of my mother feeding our younger brother and sister 5ish years prior. It seemed "disgusting" in my too-young-to-have-a-baby brain.)

So I've never really been a "boob" girl, meaning I didn't (intend to) flaunt them. At times they were hard to disguise. In my 30's I wore a compression/reduction bra A LOT to minimize the size of them. You get used to not being able to fully breathe in those puppies.

And then 6 years ago when I turned 40 I had a Mastopexy (breast lift + ask him to remove AS MUCH tissue AS POSSIBLE to get me smaller). I kept this surgery fairly quiet. The surgeon did a great job with the "lift", however, in the end, I still fit into the same size DDD bra. Gah! Gross!

Fast forward to now…When I got over the shock of this boob cancer diagnosis, I felt “If I’m going to go through all this work of getting rid of cancer, then I want the opportunity to at least be the size I want once and for all.” I’m still unsure if that’s the right mindset, but it feels the best right now. :-)

Because of my previous boob surgery (Mastopexy), my current breast surgical oncologist got to make the incision across the boob/nipple vs. underneath. Underneath was how the last was performed. And it took her a little bit longer in surgery due to scar tissue from the previous surgery, too. I’m really glad she is super meticulous and did what she needed to do!

When I first met her (and every meeting after) she seemed very rigid. There was no room for joking and she was straight to the point with factual information. I was scared of her at times and I loved her, too. She was who I clamped hands (probably painstakingly) with as I went under anesthesia. Her determination to remove cancer and dedication to me will always be remembered!

Now that she removed the cancer, I’ll be working with Plastics and Oncology (meds), however, will get one final appointment with her mid-Jan. I can’t wait to see her again!

Transparency post: Bills + Gut Instinct

I'm finding a few things interesting + worth noting as bills being to roll in:

1. Any guesses how much the pharmacy medication costs upon checkout after the surgery? To help with the estimation, we received: Acetaminophen (Tylenol) 3 tablets every 6 hours for 14 days, Docusate (stool softener) 28 capsules total, Gabapentin (nerve blocker) 1/2 tablet every 8 hours for 14 days, Ibuprofen 1 tablet every 6 hours for 14 days, Ondansetron (for nausea/vomiting) 10 tablets total, OxyCodone 25 capsules total. Total cost answer at the very end of this post

2. How frickin' long it can take sometimes for claims processing. Some are approved within days. Others are months. Got one today from the 10/22 visit with an Oncologist.

3. Check your itemized bills! Early Dec. we received the bill for the Oncologist appointment/meeting and it's been paid. The statement today says I had a "routine venipuncture" with the Oncologist. The hell I did! All we did in that visit was talk. Zero blood was taken. The charge of $10 (my responsibility is $0.63) isn't worth arguing, however, I will be reviewing these statements more closely.

And speaking of that Oncologist...

Short story: Go with your gut! Always go with your gut!

Long story: When we were trying to decide between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy procedure, one piece of information given was about radiation and a newer type being used. For me, radiation would be required for a lumpectomy, but not with a mastectomy.

When I contacted the oncologist's office to get information on if St. Luke's had the newer "proton" radiation, I was told to call the radiation department directly. Radiation dept. wouldn't give me any information and instructed me to talk to my Oncologist. It must have been a bad day at the office, for when I got a call back from the Oncology nurse, she provided little information and said I needed to schedule an appointment for answers and they were booked until Dec. 10th (this was Nov. 12th). So began the tears of frustration and sadness that day.

But don't worry, later that day a nurse from Holden Comprehensive Cancer Center at UIHC called and stayed on the phone with me as long as I needed answering questions and (bottom line) treating me like a person. It was then in that moment that I knew the U was the right place for me to go with the surgery and follow-up care.

And the Pharmacy bill totaled: $5.89. Yes. that's all! - WOW!

Day 6 Tuesday

Today was a good day! This morning (pic below) puppies napped while Bell and I watched Peter Rabbit 2 and it snowed outside!!! It was super pretty (and I can say that easily since I didn’t have to shovel it)

As far as pain management, I vowed not to be a rockstar and fend off meds. If anything I was ready to take all that’s needed to be pain-free! Surprisingly it’s going well with no pain and little meds. Mainly mornings and bedtime is when Tylenol, Advil, and/or Gabapentin (nerve blocker) is used.

FEELING: There’s weird numbness in my left armpit by the lymph node removal. And every once in a great while there’s a zing of pain. Nothing long and nothing major. It’s hard to describe and reminds me of Novacaine to an extent.

The boob pillows are a God send!! They’re super comfy and like a security blanket. I may never get rid of them!

Took another shower today. And I failed to brag up Chad earlier on installing a new shower head in our Master Bathroom the week before surgery. The new one has a detachable head, so it’s easier post-surgery (and for cleaning the shower… later, of course).

Now we have two other tub/showers with detachable heads, however, he said he didn’t want me having to step up and over a tub. I’m telling ya, I’m totally getting spoiled here!

Didn’t make it outside for a walk with the snow, however road trip with Chad to Target (~4ish miles) for a pickup order. Not sure I would want to do that again without pain meds or in the near future. It was very nice to get out of the house, tho!

Hope you all had a good day and are finding time to relax sometime (more like a LOT of time) during this week!

~Trish